


Tangled Lines

by Neptunal



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Character Death, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Emotional Roller Coaster, Fluff and Angst, Hallucinations, Implied mental illness, M/M, Mental Instability, POV Sam Winchester, Time Travel, Young Winchesters, nice in the beginning but then everything hurts, time line warping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-31
Updated: 2013-05-31
Packaged: 2017-12-13 14:13:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/825217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neptunal/pseuds/Neptunal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam meets a guy named Lucifer and for some time, life seems pretty okay. But as it always is with the Winchesters, Happiness doesn't last long.<br/>Dean's memories of a foreign life full of demons and angels strive to destroy him while Sam succumbs to his hallucinations. </p><p>Not much later, a far more tremendous threat begins its hovering over them - there might be more to Dean's second memories, after all.</p><p>(revised)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tangled Lines

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick warning that this fic will be quite long.
> 
> We hope you'll enjoy reading this as much as we enjoyed writing it.

It was 5pm and naturally, most of the students had gone home by then - only the few who'd visited either the literature club or the football training remained. Additionally, though, there was one Sam Winchester, who'd missed his after school activity due to sitting at the nurse. 

He was still bruised, and he hadn't washed off all of the blood yet, so he supposedly was a rather miserable sight. A childish one, too, he thought, remembering his position in a tree near the parking lot.   
Well, childish and stupid it might have been, but he still preferred hiding out up on some tree to meeting his worried big brother's mood.   
He'd be pissed, considering Sam again hadn't fought back and just let the guy do as he liked, but Sam did try defending himself before, and it always ended up marking him as the freak.   
He liked this school too much to let it happen again. There were a few really cool people and though he hadn’t really bonded with any of them, at least they were nice to him.

Sam waited about fifteen minutes in the tree, watching Dean walking by several times.   
Frustration showed on his face as he finally gave up and walked back to the impala. Sam ignored the sting of guilt in his chest and waited patiently for the roaring of the motor.

He was just about to climb down as a faintly familiar voice caused his insides to knot. 

"Winchester!", Lucifer called. "What are you doing up there?"   
The smile on his face looked warm and open, a friendly expression. Sam knew better. Lucifer was a lot, but definitely not friendly. "Don't you want to come down? Doesn't look all too comfy." He watched as Sam scanned the area for more people. Not finding any, he decided it wouldn't matter if he came down now or later, Lucifer wasn't going to leave, and as long as there weren’t any of Lucifer’s friends nearby he could still run away.

Sam felt much like a prey animal running straight into the mouth of some cunning predator. Lucifer’s eyes were fixed on him steadily the whole time and made the climbing an act as uncomfortable as it possibly could be. Facing Lucifer didn’t make Sam feel less nervous and he kind of regretted not going with Dean.  
"Listen, Sam, isn't it? Since you appear to avoid your brother and I am avoiding mine, why don't we go out on a drink together until things look better?"  
Sam was startled upon hearing the offer, but he couldn't really say no, considering who he was talking to. He nodded hesitantly.  
"Talk to me, Winchester, where do you want to go?"  
"I-I don't know, I don't go out a lot." he stammered, not quite knowing how to act around his companion. Lucifer nodded af if mentally noting down something. "Just follow me then, I know some great places."  
They walked quietly, neither of them attempting to start a conversation. For a long time the wind rustling in the fallen leaves was the only sound next to their steps. The houses began to change, from towers over small cottages in bright colours to looming buildings standing close and leaving barely light to the streets. It should have been eerie, to walk on dark alleys with one of the probably most dangerous guys of the school, but it felt safe, it felt good, as if it was the only right thing to do.

They finally stopped in front of a small one story building marked as "'s Pub", the name of the owner missing. Upon reluctantly following Lucifer into the bar, Sam was surprised to see a nicely equipped room, furnished with a lot of dark warm wood. It was a clean, inviting place, and Sam couldn't help but wonder why no one was there.  
"It's been awhile since I've last been here", Lucifer suddenly said, pulling Sam out of his thoughts, and for a moment his eyes spoke of the hurt of the memory. It was less than a second before the grin returned to his usual place in the scarred face and Sam was left to wonder if it even ever happened. Lucifer raised his voice. "Table for two please, and bring your best champagne!", he yelled to what seemed like an empty counter.

He was already nudging Sam into one of the sitting booths when a short man appeared out of nothing with two beers in his hands. He didn't ask about their age and instead greeted Lucifer with a smile that probably was supposed to be warm and friendly but ended up looking plain mocking.   
"I missed you here, Lucifer. How's Michael?" Lucifer snorted.  
"Thanks for the beer, Crowley", he said sharply. The man, Crowley, as it seemed, lifted his hands as in defence.   
"Okay, Princess, I'll leave you and your date alone.", and with a smirk he disappeared.   
Lucifer must have noticed the confusion on Sam’s face, for he sent him a questioning look. Sam shifted in his seat.  
"I didn't know this was a date", he murmured, unsettled and quite confused. His eyes were fixed on his knees, as to avoid having to look the other in the eyes. Instead of the awkward silence Sam had expected, Lucifer broke out in laughter. "Don't worry, Crowley makes stupid comments all the time, just ignore him." Sam relaxed, but quickly tensed up again when he realized Lucifer had ordered alcohol for both of them. It wasn't the fact that he was underage which troubled him, but more Dean’s advice to never drink with strangers, especially not he, for he got accordingly to Dean drunk as fast as a newborn puppy.

Lucifer took a sip of his beer and looked at Sam. Not expectantly, simply questioning, obviously wondering why he wasn’t drinking, too. Sam had seen this behaviour before. A lot of people who were used to drinking in groups never began talking until everyone had started their drink. The only exception was when having something really grave and important to announce. Obviously, this wasn’t the case with sam, so he decided to simply go with it and drink a bit, too. He doubted Dean had actually fed alcoholic beverages to a new born puppy and obviously he'd just wanted to tease him, right? So he'd bear more than just a sip. 

Looking Lucifer straight in the eye he lifted the bottle to his lips and took a big swing. It didn't taste very good, but he kind of enjoyed the unusual burning the alcohol caused in his throat - the beer must have had more percents than he originally expected. However, Sam made an effort to not even blink and Lucifer looked surprised, maybe even a bit impressed.

Some time passed in comfortable silence, and Sam enjoyed inspecting the room’s detail. The walls were graced by a row of sepia coloured paintings featuring a dancing tailor with a fish, and Sam found himself wondering what kind of person would consider this art.  
As he was finally able to detach his gaze from the odd decorations, he found Lucifer looking straight at him. Sam stared back, but his opposite didn’t even bat an eyelash. He felt a bit stupid when realizing who exactly he was having a staring contest with. It went on, though, and Sam was sure it lasted at least thirty seconds until he felt too uncomfortable to go on and directed his eyes at a spot on the table.   
He didn’t return to looking at Lucifer and instead spent what felt like half of an eternity to muster up the courage to ask the question that had been bugging him for a while now. The other half of the eternity he spent wondering why he was so intimidated by Lucifer. It was a bit odd, considering he knew nothing but the rumors about him.  
"So did you have any particular reason why you took me out for a drink?" he finally managed to blurt out. "it's not like I don't like it, I was just wondering- uh nevermind, sorry if I seemed rude"  
Sam waited, hoping to get an answer anyway. When he finally looked up he caught Lucifer still staring at him. There was something hungry in his glance and it frightened him for a moment, but then it was gone, as quick as the hurt in his eyes when they entered the pub.

Lucifer shook his head and then took a big swing of his beer. The bottle was already half empty. He took a breath and opened his mouth, just to close it again. He did so twice until he finally spoke.   
"You were avoiding your brother, I was avoiding mine. You looked like you could use some company, I…" He trailed off and stared into the distance. His left hand found the back of his right, were he absent-mindedly scratched at some scab. He opened his mouth once again when suddenly the jukebox in the corner started playing Knocking On Heaven's Door.   
Smiling, Lucifer took up on the opening. "Good song, isn't it. You like it?"  
His scarring fingers remained at their harmful position, despite Lucifer obviously being conscious of the action by then. 

The young Winchester nodded. "Yeah, it's great. I like it alot." He smiled a bit, but then noticed that Lucifer was still scratching the back of his hand. "You shouldn't do that, it'll give you scars" he said, pointing to his hands. Lucifer grinned, but didn't stop scratching. Sam firmly took his hands in his own, unable able to bear the soft rasp of nail on skin.

Lucifer looked pleasantly surprised. His gaze trailed from their hands up to Sam's face and a tiny smile appeared on his lips. Sam sent him a questioning glance. There was something going on in Lucifers thoughts and he just couldn’t follow. A joke, maybe?  
Lucifer's smile cracked and left an expression much too vulnerable and broken on his face. Of course, he covered it up quickly and put on another smile, just not quite as bright as the last one.   
"Nothing, just remembered something funny.", he said hastily and averted his eyes. 

‘Liar, you're lying to me’ ,the juke box boomed, and Lucifer cursed silently. "Can you turn it down a bit?", he yelled across the room, where Crowley was standing next to the juke box, smirking happily.  
"Not in the mood for queen, lil princess?"  
Lucifer returned his attention to Sam who was still gripping his hands tightly.   
"Crowley has the best damn beer in town but he's one smug bastard", he said, getting the smile from before back onto his face. They spent a few seconds simply smiling at each other about the odd pub owner and the newly found inside joke.   
Then suddenly, in the most peaceful silence, a voice made itself clear. Dean’s voice.  
"Lucifer, Sammy? really? I mean - what the fuck? Holding hands? Sammy, go away from him immediately, he's weird!"   
Sam stayed where he was, grasped even tighter onto Lucifer's hands. "Dean, no, he's okay, just relax!" "I ain’t gonna relax," Dean started shouting, walking towards the table Sam and Lucifer were seated at, "you creepy ass let go of my brother and everythings fine!" Lucifer's eyes darkened at getting ordered around, and as Dean attacked him, trying to pull Sam away from him, he stood up and punched him, forcing Dean to take a few steps back. Lucifer followed him until they were just inches apart "I don't care what you do, just stay out of my business and don't insult me" he hissed. "Guys, calm down, both of you!", Sam shouted, but neither of them paid him any attention. Lucifer shot one last angry glance at Dean before he turned around and walked out of the pub.

As soon as Lucifer had left, Dean seemed to relax a bit, but he very obviously wasn't calm yet. He massaged his temple and then looked at Sam.  
"Sammy. Lucifer! You're running off just to meet with god damn Lucifer! He's the fucking epitome of who we're not supposed to go near to and you damn well know the reasons why. You heard the stories! He's the kind of guy who beats up kids two heads smaller than him and fucking laughs at their bloody faces. You know, I really don't care who you're holding hands with, as long as it's not evil on two legs like the kid named after freaking Satan." Dean sighed deeply and turned around. "Come on, we gotta go."   
He didn't mention the fact that said evil on two legs apparently had left money for the beer while storming out.

Sam sighed, but didn't try to talk back. Argumenting with his brother when he was in a bad mood was useless. The image of Lucifer storming out of the pub, without a single word of goodbye for him however didn't leave his mind for a long time. It kinda hurt. He didn't talk with Dean all the way home, but it wasn't a comfortable silence as it had been with Lucifer. It was tense, Dean was still angry at him, and mostly plain didn't understand what he found in Lucifer. Sam wasn't all too sure either. He would have liked to find out, he thought, and his chest felt heavy and too tight at the same time when he realized this probably wouldn't be possible. Just as he thought it couldn't get any worse, Dean started talking. "So, what about this face of yours? Who did this? Not possibly exactly the same guy you were - thing" he stopped, not wanting to talk about it and preferred to ignore it had ever happened.

"No, of course not.", Sam answered defensively. He thought about telling Dean that he was just holding Lucifer's hands in place, but he knew all too well that this would've sounded like the lamest excuse in history.  
"Was some big guy at school. I don't really know his name." Of course that wasn't true, Sam knew the name of the guy who did it - at least the pre name. Michael... His thoughts went to wonder whether that Michael was the same one rumoured to be Lucifer’s brother. In that case he’d even known the surname. Lucifer after all was feared and known under his full name - Lucifer Dante Agnusdei.   
Sam’s thoughts drifted off further as he started wondering why Lucifer was so infamous for being evil - he actually seemed like a pretty nice person.

Dean was still steaming and so luckily missed both Sam’s lie as well as his not paying attention. He continued talking quite soon, unaware of Sam only listening with half of an ear.  
"You should fight back, Sammy, you know. I've seen the guys of your school and none of them looked like they'd stand a chance against you if you tried. Just give up that freaking regular kid thing, it's getting weird."

Sam stiffened, when his focus shifted back to Dean’s complaining. He didn't like to hear it, this fighting-back-speech. Of course he knew he could easily beat up enough people to have them too scared to ever bother him again, but he actually liked being a part of the community and not a violent freak. Dean didn't understand. He never cared what other people said about him, as long as it wasn't anything dangerous.  
Sam's only hope to escape the usual tirade was to agree and then talk about something else, something that captured Dean's attention more efficiently. The opportunity sadly never came and once more Sam had to endure Dean's neverending talking. Finally reaching their small flat and pretending to having to shower was his salvation.

Sam felt uneasy all night long and the ride to school was even worse. He felt guilty, but at the same time angry. Even though Sam did mess up, dean shouldn't have interrupted like that. It was his choice who he chose to hang out with. Well, as long as the other part was complying, too. Lucifer would probably avoid him from now on. He was the freak kid with the freak big brother, after all, so why would he still even talk to him? He angrily kicked a pebble out of the way and cursed himself, Dean, god and the universe.   
He was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. Out of reflex, he shook it off in a purposely pain causing way and spinned around, ending up in a slight defensive stance. 

The one approaching him turned out to not be threat, though. Lucifer smiled at him apologetically and rubbed his hand.  
"Sorry. Want to meet again after school? Until we were interrupted, it was pretty cool."   
A moment later his face shone up as if a genius plan had just suddenly popped out of a back corner of his mind he wasn't aware of.   
"You could skip whatever after school thing you do, I'll drive you here again afterwards,… Your brother won't notice anything."

Sam's face lit up instantly. Lucifer didn't think he was a total freak, he talked to him even wanted to hang out more! At the mentioning of his brother his smile dropped. He had had a long discussion with Dean about morals and his safety, which was basically Dean forbidding him to ever talk to Lucifer again. Sam may have had difficulties with his brother and didn't agree with him about a lot of things, but yesterday when he thought Lucifer wouldn't talk to him ever again anyway, he had agreed to the conditions Dean had made. He thought it wouldn't have mattered and now guilt was biting at his insides. "I -I'm sorry, I can't I have - uh - Judo training and it's very important and.. stuff."   
He looked down, inspecting his shoelaces. Lucifer sighed. "Don't even try, it's obvious you're lying. Did your brother forbid you to see me?" Sam nodded, a bit surprised Lucifer had found out so quickly. But hey, he wasn't a great liar, and Lucifer was smart. Sam drew circles on the floor with the tip of his foot, trying to find words to express his guilt. Before he even had the chance to properly articulate, Lucifer calmly accepted his apology. "It's okay I'll leave this hothead of a brother you have and you some time. You're always welcome to call me though - if you want to." Sam nodded and noted Lucifer's phone number on some paper he fished out of his pocket, confirming to call sometime.

Sam really did take his time. He spent a long time sending hasty glances at Lucifer and wondering when he'd muster up the courage to talk to him properly. Their conversations were reduced to "hi" and "can I borrow your pen?" and Sam was wondering why he didn't just finally call him. He tried to tell himself that it wasn't anything special to call a friend, but his jelly like legs and the fluttering heart apparently thought otherwise. Even though he and Lucifer had only talked for one evening, he felt like he was the closest friend he'd ever had - Sam usually stuck to the rule not to get too attached to anyone, expecting to move very soon again.   
After a week he'd admitted to himself that he really liked Lucifer a lot more than he should and that maybe it was just a bit weird that he was absolutely ok with breaking his promise to Dean if it meant talking to him again. It was another week from then until they had actual contact again, though not really within the circumstances he'd pictured. 

It was a foggy thursday afternoon and Sam was tying his shoes on a wardrobe bench after gym class, when he suddenly heard someone speaking. Since it was the boy's wardrobe, he was quite surprised when he realized the voice was female. A queasy feeling started to creep in on him when he recognized the voice - Ruby Cortese. His unease doubled when he heard a chorus of laughter, artfully coordinated by the people known as Alistair's Gang and generally recognized as such. If his gang was there, he couldn't be too far.   
"That's gonna teach him and that betraying bitch.", a female voice purred, sounding much like a desperate unpopular girl brown-nosing her crush. "Attacking his brother is genius. you always find their weak spot, don't you?", she said, and Sam felt sorry for the poor bastard who was going to suffer their wrath.   
"Who was it anyway?", a male, much too familiar voice asked in an absent minded tone and Sam felt his heart drop - Lucifer.   
"Winchester." - Alistair's voice answered, and Sam was pretty sure at that point his heart was resting in his stomach, while resting might be the wrong word.  
"Like Sam and Dean Winchester, Winchester?", and Lucifer still sounded uncaring. "Sure you want to do that? The big one's known for his bloody revenge. We don't have to be scared of him, of course, but still I don't want social workers breathing down my neck. I sure as hell would trust him to get a bunch of them."  
There was a break, where everyone was silent. Sam heard one person breathing a bit louder and faster than the others. Every single one of Sam's instincts told him to leave the room now, but one exit was blocked by the gang and to reach the other one, he'd have to step into their plain view.   
" He pretty much obsesses over his little brother, maybe it'd be smarter to leave him, you know. We could still beat up the Shurley kid instead."  
But Chuck Shurley, as Sam knew for a fact, called in sick that day and apparently - in spite of Lucifers perfectly sincere tone - the gang wasn't so sure of Lucifer being truthful, either. It was finally one of Alistairs nameless minions who broke the second tense silence.   
"What's up with you, Lucy? On your period? Having a crush on Dean Winchester?" - a dirty laugh- " Don't be a pussy, man.”

Sam frowned at the guy's stupidity. Lucifer wasn't the one you teased or snickered on unless you wanted to lose some teeth. Surprisingly the next thing audible wasn't the sound of a fist hitting a face. Lucifer was speaking, his voice quiet and calm.  
"Instead of repeating your little brother's insults like a mentally challenged parrot you could just shut up, you know." For some reason, it didn't matter what he'd said at all. It was the manner he was speaking in that made all the difference. Sam probably just imagined it, but he could've sworn to have heard the addressed guy swallow uncomfortably.  
"Same goes for yourself, Lucifer, shut your trap", Alistair added. He very obviously didn't like not being in charge of the situation. Maybe his cold blooded voice should have sounded intriguing, and, of course it was, but to Sam it just didn't quite reach the Lucifer's level.  
"And you, Smith, will kindly go and fetch my jacket, you should recognize it by now." commanded the gang leader, and Sam cowered behind the bench. Uselessly so, because - how else could it have been - said minion named Smith turned around the corner grudgingly, apparently searching for the leader's jacket. He found it lying at the end of the bench, near a quite frightened Sam.  
"Boss!", he called out. "Guess we don't have to search for him anymore" and a sadistic smile disgraced his already previously not-so-handsome face. 

Sam heard the gang coming closer and as they turned around the corner he felt his heart skipping a beat. As Dean sometimes said, there’s nothing more terrifying than a human. It was true, Sam would’ve preferred any vampire over this. Getting beaten up by one guy was bad enough, but Alistair's gang was a completely different case.   
Sam thought about ways he could escape, but if catching them by surprise and running away had been near impossible before, it was now ridiculous to even think about it. In almost perfect unison a smile cracked their faces. Even though Sam knew being imitated would please them even more, he couldn't suppress being a intimidated. Sam had planned on taking their pleasure away by suggesting them to use their fantastic synchrony for ballet instead of beating up ninth graders , but the look in Lucifer's eyes stopped him. He hadn't expected to see anger there.

"Look at him! He's almost too cute to beat up, ain't he!", one of the minions exclaimed excitedly and Lucifer didn't take his eyes from Sam. The anger in them slowly faded away just to be replaced by bitterness and for some reason Sam cared more about the fact that Lucifer was boring his fingernails into his palm than the fact that he was going to get beaten up badly. But just like Lucifer himself, the gang didn't take note of him hurting his own hand, and so no one stopped him.   
Sam got the urge to take Lucifers Hand into his and run away as fast as he could, but there was no chance to do so. With the training he got from Dad he could've knocked out up to three people taller and stronger than him, but six were just too many. Panic crept up on him. The gang was talking, screaming, yelling insults and threats at him but he didn't understand a single one, they just morphed into a chorus of unintelligible sounds. The gang wasn't made of people, but of demons, faces odd and disturbing, distorted by senseless hate and sadism. They were only six, but they seemed to be standing everywhere, surrounding Sam, sending their dangerous vibes to Sam, destroying his courage and eating him alive.   
Only one figure stood out against the grey faces of monsters, and it was the most terrible of them all. Dark and vibrant clouds seemed to swirl around Lucifer's head, insecurity and fear, a bright light shining somewhere from his heart but being disrupted by dark red and black scrubs just like the ones that covered Lucifer's skin, where he'd scratched it open. Lucifer was the image of a fallen angel, his wings hanging down on his side, broken and crooked at the most horrible angles and Sam wanted to close his eyes forever, because whatever was causing those hallucinations made him more than just irrationally scared, they made him scared for his life and the world's fate and that was not how Sam Winchester was supposed to feel. 

But even with his eyes closed, he saw them, terrible abominations of who those people were supposed to be. He whimpered, and it didn't sound right, because a Winchester doesn't whimper, a Winchester takes out his rock salt loaded gun and shoots the bad guys. But wasn't he just fifteen fucking years old? Images of a 15 year old Dean invaded his mind and said that that wasn't a valid argument as he remembered him with a rifle sitting steadily on his back and a bloody knife in his hand, because for some reason, Dean had been born as a grown up monster slaughterer. Dean had always had the courage and always sucked every pain up without ever complaining. Contrary to Sam, of course, and Sam felt horrible. He was not only disappointing himself, but every single person he loved by just sitting on the floor and whimpering. 

He forced his eyes open, ready to face the barrel of the metaphorical gun directed right at him. Ruby had her leg up, tense like a drawn bow and ready to let her high heeled foot crash down onto Sam and the other minions had their fists ready to make his every bone crumble. Alistair was holding a baseball bat and Sam didn't remember Alistair ever leaving the scene. Everything was in slow motion, and flickering after-images of the hallucinations made everything worse.   
Only Lucifer lacked a fighting stance, bearing a look of bare desperation in his eyes and Sam closed his eyes again, because the way Lucifer was looking at him was killing him.  
Through his shut eyelids, wing skeletons and smoke clouds flickered up again, making Sam pray for the hallucinations to just go away, reality was horrible enough. He pressed his eyelids shut even harder, as if that would've made the evil go away, knowing it wouldn't.   
Hence he was surprised when the hallucinations were replaced by a single one, wings and a shining light pulsating through a body standing just in front of him. And as he opened his eyes to see, he feared to go blind by the brilliant light.   
And as Lucifer was screaming a battle cry, Sam didn't understand his words, but felt like his eardrums were bursting and he watched the minions actually cowering in fear just as Sam had done seconds ago. Only Alistair was still standing up tall, positioning himself to jump his opponent. But in that moment, Lucifer was living up to the proud angel he was named after and everyone knew it.   
Alistair was facing the floor in the matter of seconds without anyone knowing what even had happened and then Lucifer, still slightly shining, was grabbing to Sam’s hand while pulling him away and out of the school, out onto the street where Sam was still in delirium when Lucifer pulled him into a tight hug.

"Look after yourself, Sam Winchester.", he breathed, and without even awaiting a response, he released Sam, clapped him onto the shoulder and ran off. It was then that Sam realized they hadn't actually been alone. Sure enough, his brother was waiting at the usual spot, leaning to his car.   
Sam walked over to him silently and got in on the passenger side. Dean was silent, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this! We hope you liked it - and would be very happy about some feedback.


End file.
